Decades worth of research has found that how we connected emotionally with our caregivers, in the first 5 years of life, informs how we relate to romantic partners and close friends in adulthood.
And just like every romantic partner comes with their own annoying habits and weird nicknames, each person also comes with their own attachment style.
While the most accurate and in-depth method of learning about your attachment style is going to be with a mental health professional, taking an online quiz can serve as a helpful and cost-effective entry point.
Because there are a glut of these quizzes on the internet, we poked around to find the ones that are most worth doing. Our selections are based on accessibility (they’re all free, or at least have a free option), quick (under 15 minutes), and have easy to understand results that are educational and interesting to read.
1. Your Personality
Short version
Questions: 36
Estimated time: 4 minutes
Attachment style categories: Romantic
Developed by psychologist R. Chris Fraley, PhD, this quiz is one of our faves because it gives impressively detailed results.
There are two options available: a 4-minute and 15-minute quiz. While both are easy to take and provide useful results, the longer one requires signing up with your email.
The most useful element of Fraley’s quiz is how the results are plotted on a quadrant: One axis plots your avoidance score while the other plots your anxiety score (if you score low on both, you fall into the “secure” range).
Representing the results in this way gives nuance and dimension to your score. Additionally, you’re given a written explanation of your score that is thoughtfully articulated.
It’s clear the designers of the test are well-read in attachment theory.
Long version
Questions: 128
Estimated time: 15 minutes
Attachment style categories: General, romantic, parental, and platonic
This version is quite a bit longer, but you end up with a much larger data set since it asks you more than three times the amount of questions on four separate types of relationships. You’ll end up with four attachment styles, one for each relationship category, all plotted on their own quadrant.
It’s pretty interesting to see how you relate in romantic relationships lined up against how you relate to your friends or your parents.
While this version does require email sign-up (and the technology behind the site is definitely dated), we think it’s worth it because once you have a log-in, you’re able to store your results.
You can retake the quiz anytime and track how your results may have changed since last time, or perhaps since your last relationship. Think of it like an attachment theory diary of sorts.
2. Diane Poole Heller
Questions: 45
Estimated time: 5 minutes
Attachment style categories: Adult relationship (romantic or otherwise)
Attachment theory expert Dr. Diane Poole Heller, PhD, is behind this 45-question quiz.
We were immediately impressed by how thoughtfully each question was written, often addressing hyper specific circumstances. It also asks you to reflect on a variety of emotional contexts, which, if you’re as obsessed with attachment theory as us, makes the quiz feel particularly useful.
The one downside is you do have to sign up with your email to get to your results. While this is a minor annoyance,the detail put into the results make it worth it. You also get additional info in your inbox after you finish the quiz (it’s easy to unsubscribe afterward if you like).
Your results come in a pie chart format, so you can see how you score on four different attachment styles: secure, avoidant/dismissive, ambivalent/anxious, and disorganized.
Note: If you’re on mobile, you’ll need to switch to landscape mode to view the whole quiz.
3. Psychology Today
Questions: 50
Estimated time: 5 minutes
Attachment style categories: Romantic
In this quiz by Psychology Today, you’ll be asked to rate how much you agree with a series of 50 statements, from “completely true” to “completely false.” We find the length useful, since more questions mean it addresses a broader set of experiences.
The language is straight forward, albeit a little dry compared to some of the others.
When you get to the end, you’ll see your free results, which to be totally honest leaves quite a bit to be desired. It’s basically just your style with a short explanation.
If you’re an attachment theory nerd, you won’t regret paying the $6.50 to see your detailed results. They give you a TON of information, including scores in seven distinct categories, a detailed breakdown of your style, and an advice section.
4. Attached
Questions: 18
Estimated time: 2 minutes
Attachment style categories: Romantic
This quiz was developed by the authors of Attached, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine, and Rachel Heller, MA. It’s only 18 questions, so it’s a good option for those of us with short attention spans.
The results aren’t too detailed in scope — they’ll tell you whether you’re secure, anxious, or avoidant — but with a hefty paragraph of information about each attachment style, this quiz gives some really helpful initial insight.
The fun kicker is being able to take a complementary quiz to help you figure out your partner’s style. No email sign-up is required either.
5. Science of People
Questions: 26
Estimated time: 4 minutes
Attachment style categories: Romantic
This quiz is on the simpler side, but we like it because it’s quick to take and the results give you helpful examples of what that attachment style looks like in real relationships.
There’s an optional email sign-up form that pops up a couple times, but it’s not necessary to sign up to see your results and it doesn’t offer any relevant information, so no harm in ignoring it.
Kim Wong-Shing is a writer in New Orleans. Her work spans beauty, wellness, relationships, pop culture, identity, and other topics. Her website is kimwongshing.com.
